Jonathan Hansen

Reviews

Somebody I Used To Know

“I named him ‘Annie's boobs,’ after Annie's boobs.” — Troy Barnes, Community S3E10, Regional Holiday Music

Reviews

All Quiet on the Western Front

Perfunctory and uninspired apologia.

Reviews

The School for Good and Evil

Another bastard child of Harry Potter takes it shot…

Site News

The 100th Post

I have so many wonderous things to show you...

Reviews

Mission Impossible - Dead Reckoning Part One

I feel like this title isn’t long enough…

Fiction

The Plague of Man

The Universe is not kind...

Reviews

Black Panther: Wakanda Forever

The Black Panther lives!

Reviews

The 1619 Project

“Attempts to deny or obfuscate the fundamental principles upon which the United States was founded.” — Skyler Wheeler (R), 4th District, Iowa State House of Representatives

Reviews

I Love My Dad

Redefining cringe

Reviews

The Mummy

The death knell of the Dark Universe

Reviews

Crimes of the Future

Gross

Reviews

The Big Four

Maybe watch The Night Comes For Us instead…

Reviews

American Carnage

American Commentary

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Tar

Bravo!

Reviews

Strange World

Strangely familiar…

Reviews

The Outfit

This film doesn’t quite measure up.

Reviews

Yeti Massacre

“Were these people slaughtered in cold blood by a killer Russian Yeti?”

Reviews

The Hole In The Ground

A great eye, lidless, wreathed in brown...

Reviews

In My Mother’s Skin

Never eat candy that’s been left out in a witch’s hut, kids.

Reviews

Asteroid City

“It doesn’t matter, just keep telling the story.”

Reviews

Susie Searches

Oh, what a tangled web we weave…

Reviews

Five Nights At Freddy's

Freddy Fazbear’s! Where a dead kid can be a dead kid!

Reviews

The Last Voyage of the Demeter

“Listen to them, the children of the night. What music they make!”

Reviews

The Venture Bros.: Radiant is the Blood of the Baboon Heart

“Feel the sting of the mighty Monarch!”

Reviews

Kandahar

“Ancient wars were fought for spoils. Modern wars aren’t meant to be won.”