Civil War

In a dystopian future America, torn to pieces by a raging civil war, a team of journalists race to reach Washington, D.C., hoping to arrive before rebel factions can descend upon the White House and overthrow the President.

Right from the start–with all its myriad issues set aside for the moment–this film put me in mind of the movie Captive State, directed by Rupert Wyatt.

Captive State was about a post-alien invasion earth, where humanity lived beneath the oppressive boot of the alien overlords who conquered us, with day-to-day order being kept by complicit human collaborators (kind of like the TV show Colony). I liked the film, for the most part. It had some good ideas and some bad ones, but it was all contained in a story that just felt too big, too sprawling, for the confines of a one hour and 50 minute film. It felt like it was trying to do all of the big pay-offs, just without any of the all-important build-up. There was just too much implied backstory at every single turn. The entire thing was undermined by the fact it was a movie instead of what it should have been... a tv show, resolutely ignoring the idea that some stories are short stories, and some stories are novels, and as a result, it was forced to sacrifice its characterization, its arcs, it motivations, and its world-building, and all for nothing more than a too-tight run time that ultimately leaves you feeling unsatisfied, left with nothing but a bunch of disconnected ideas and a glimpse of a potentially better, more interesting story.

That’s what Civil War is, this otherwise half-baked, overly-simplistic dystopian road movie, a tour of a cliched and war torn America, half zombie apocalypse epic knock-off, half spin-off of the DC/Vertigo comic book DMZ, it's a story that could have been good, if it had been allowed enough room to tell its whole story... well, if it had been given enough room, AND it ditched its ignorant dipshit white centrist nonsense politics, that is.

Clearly prioritizing its love for its shallow aesthetic, its cliched look and feel cribbed from that particular kind of dystopian day-after-tomorrow Gibson-esque fiction, where a confusing jumble of ad-hoc armies use the cutting edge future of war stuff in a punk rock kind of way, the movie is otherwise mired in what at best can be described as a muddled understanding of both global and national politics, or at worst, is rooted in a desperate desire to never directly address the fact that in any version of this scenario, the violent dissolution of the United States, the bad guys can really only be from one specific group, from one specific demographic.

Because, in this country, there’s only one group who not only have an actual history of using violent insurrection to get their way, but they also have a history where it's actually successful. On top of that, there’s only one demographic in this country who currently believes that violent insurrection is not only a viable option, but are also eager to use this option because they believe that it’s the best course of action to accomplish their oft-stated goals, which you can find in every single one of the platforms and agendas they push… which is, to completely rule this country in every way, and to do it by creating a White Christian Ethnostate, OR… to burn it all the fuck down, should they be denied.

And that one group, that one demographic, is White America.

This is undeniably true, and it can be proven simply by a quick perusal of current events. It is especially true when it comes to White Christian America, and anyone who tries to tell you differently is either dangerously stupid, as they're apparently completely unaware of the world right now, or they’re actually just lying, because they are completely aware, and either support this goal, or support the people who do, maybe loudly or maybe silently, but either way, they don’t like it when this is pointed out, so they try to refute it, they try to silence it, or they just ignore it...

Like this film does.

And the reason why this film ignores this reality is because this movie is intended to specifically cater to that fantasy. The studios know there’s only two crowds that will support the film… Fascist White America, and their ugly little complicit White Centrist buddies, and the studio wants their money. But of course, they won’t say this out loud, because that can turn into bad press and harm their future releases, so instead they couch these efforts in vague, coded language, obscuring their intent by providing no backstory in the film, so that the motivations that are driving the story are not clear. It's plausible deniability in order to have their cake and eat it too, which is classic Centist bullshit.

I’d call the filmmakers‘ chickenshit, if it wasn‘t so obviously deliberate.

I will say that the film does at least get one thing right, and that’s the fact that the first act of terrorism you see on-screen is done by a white person, strapped to a bomb and carrying an American flag, as they sprint into a crowd of people of color who are trying to get clean water for their families.

That at least feels accurate.

This is why they link California and Texas in the main secessionist effort, an alliance forged under the name The Western Forces or The WF. They do this, not because “war is bad” or “Americans fighting Americans is sad,” but to avoid having to make any political statement at all. The idea that a California and Texas alliance will be the main source of rebellion is obviously jibber jabber nonsense, but that doesn’t matter, just like it doesn’t matter if some stupid filmhead (white guy) nerd decides to dredge up some unlikely fringe scenario in an effort to explain why this particular scenario acktually makes sense, because the entire point of linking California and Texas is to deliberately obscure the political angle.

The filmmakers took two states that are, however correctly or incorrectly perceived, emblematic of the opposite sides of the American political spectrum, and by putting them together, all while refusing to provide any specific backstory, they don’t have to commit to any sides, they don’t have to vilify “red” or “blue." Best of all, they can ignore the fact that yes, if America ever were to experience a violent open internal conflict (a scenario that grows more and more likely every day, between the impending potential reality of Climate Crisis-driven American refugees and White Christian Nationalists losing more and more elections), then there would most definitely be a ”bad guy” in that situation, as the only way this will ever happen is due to a split between White America’s racism, cruelty, and entitlement, and everyone else in this country.

But the filmmakers don’t want to deal with that, they just want cool vibes and vicarious thrills, my man, all while looking awesome in IMAX and sounding even more kickass in Dolby Atmos, as they toss around day after tomorrow dystopian sounding nonsense. Ooooo, the “AnTEEfa Massacre,” huh? That sounds awful. Who’s responsible for the trouble, you say? The “Heartland Maoists?” Ooooo…

Get the fuck out of here with that fucking “both-sider” bullshit.

I mean… watching filmmakers who clearly consider themselves to be centrists calling out centrist agendas, basically casting indignation at their own privilege, in this weird extended sequence, that is plopped down in the middle of the film, that takes place in a nice little store in a nice little suburban downtown, where the ladies idly shop in safety because it's protected by men with guns, standing watch on the rooftops, men who are not in any kind of uniforms, is certainly something to see.

The "caucacity," as some folks say...

And this is all while heavily implying that the Secessionists actually are the good guys, but never explaining why, never listing any of the grievances or motivations. A popular response to this critique is the idea that never mentioning the politics is somehow a bold political statement in and of itself, and that is just such fucking nonsense... I hate it so much. That is the kind of shit that only white people who are desperate to justify their “no politics” family Thanksgivings can embrace.

In the end, all this illusion of bold political statements does is reveal the actual agenda of this pointless bit of fluff with its delusions of meaningful grandeur.

And the film doesn’t just utilize a lot of familiar imagery, it uses the famous name of Lee Miller to really highlight the half-assed fanfic nature of the film too.

In real life, Elizabeth “Lee” Miller was a fashion model in New York in the 1920s, and a photographer and a photojournalist in WW2, covering the London Blitz and the liberation of Paris, as well as Buchenwald and Dachau, crossing Europe as a war correspondent for British Vogue.

On April 30, 1945, Lee Miller very famously took a bath in Hitler’s tub in the Führer’s abandoned apartment in Munich. That morning, she had been among the very first to enter Dachau, and her boots tracked some of that dirt across Hitler’s white bathmat. This was on the same day that, in a Berlin bunker, Hitler and Eva Braun took their lives. This picture would eventually become famous as a visual metaphor for the end of the war. Everything about her, everything about her life, was bold and daring and blazing new trails.

But in this film, Lee Miller is portrayed as your typical grizzled veteran type, someone who has seen too much shit, and now, after witnessing the unfettered brutality of humanity for too long, any bright-eyed idealism she may have once possessed has been ground out of her long ago.

Civil War's Lee Miller is a complete cliche from the first moment we meet her to her very last moment, which is one of the worst and most obviously telegraphed melodramtic things imaginable, just the hackiest of hacky shit, the type of thing that should be punishable by law.

So anyway... this time, this worn-out old cliche is, much like her obviously co-opted for this specific reason namesake, is a very well-known photojournalist. So, with her news-partner, Joel, a sad-eyed and clearly running on empty adrenaline junkie drunken pothead reporter, as well as Jessie, a starry-eyed young wannabe photojournalist who wants nothing more in the whole world than to be Lee Miller, and Sammy, an aging reporter who writes for “what’s left of the New York Times,” and is making one last ride for that big story, are all trying to get to DC before the WF Secessionists topple the US Government. The movie follows them for the 857 miles they take, a somewhat circuitous route, from NYC to the city that is… for now… still the nation’s capital.

I don’t like to ding films for not having something to say. I don’t think it’s necessary to always have somekind of deeper message. What bothers me, is when it’s not clear if the film even knows that it’s not saying anything, or even worse, when it pretends that it's saying something, but isn't. That’s definitely a reason to ding a film.

That’s the problem here.

On the upside, Jesse Plemons shows up and steals the whole show in what is clearly the best work in the whole film, not to mention its tensest moment, and he does it simply by being a white guy with a gun and a chip on his shoulder.

Some might claim Garland is actually doing the unexpected here, that he’s not actually delivering the bombastic thrills that the audience expects and wants, but he is… The reality is, Civil War is nothing but the shallowest and most melodramatic of faux-deep nonsense, it’s every moment clearly telegraphed, and all while it hides behind the thinnest smokescreen of being a “think piece” despite never actually saying anything. It‘s the cinematic version of a chocolate bunny, too big, too sweet, with little meaning, and ultimately hollow inside.

In short, this film is stupid jerk-off nonsense for stupid jerk-off people, a bunch of misery porn for drooling dullards, a film that is too chicken shit to be “political” for fear of offending White America.

Big time thumbs down with an extended fart noise.