Deathstalker

A powerful swordsman known only as Deathstalker discovers a cursed amulet while looting a corpse-strewn battlefield. Now bound to the amulet by dark magic, Deathstalker is hunted by monstrous assassins, sent by an evil wizard who would kill him to possess it.

So, right away, I assume you’re wondering…

Is this a remake of the original?

You’re also probably thinking, but wait, wasn’t the original movie, like... really rapey and problematic, nothing but a surprisingly toxic bit of softcore late night cable porn wrapped up in the leather and chainmail finery of the 1980s sword and sorcery genre, a truly cheap and terrible little movie that is only notable now for the frankly shocking amount of young actresses who apparently believed that their big break in Hollywood would come after they appeared butt-naked in a really low-rent fantasy film?

No. No, it’s not.

Or, well, I mean… yes.

Yes, all of the stuff that’s mentioned in the second question is totally true. Shockingly true, honestly. But to answer the original question? No, the 2025 version of Deathstalker is definitely not a remake of the 1983 version.

A fairly typical-looking 1970s and 80s barbarian fantasy that is equal parts He-Man and Conan, Deathstalker (1983) was an Argentinian-American production, directed by James Sbardellati, and is one of the hundreds and hundreds of movies that were produced by that absolute Hollywood legend, the “King of the Bs” Roger Corman. It was the first film in that perennial “back aisle of the video store” staple, the Deathstalker franchise, which also includes Deathstalker II, Deathstalker and the Warriors from Hell, and Deathstalker IV: Match of Titans.

And it is absolutely terrible.

In the original movie, Deathstalker is a big, stupid, swaggering asshole. Plus, he just looks like a dumbass, just the way his mouth kind of hangs open, you look at him and you think: "That guy is a dumb asshole." And throughout the movie, he basically murders, robs, and/or sexually assaults pretty much everyone he crosses paths with. He’s also our hero. This means Deathstalker is the Chosen One, the one whose destiny it is to wield the awesome Powers of Creation, which really seems like a bad idea, being that he’s been nothing but a murdering rapist and thief the entire time, but no one’s asking me.

And meanwhile, the whole movie is nothing but boobs and butts. A whole buncha butts. Piles of butts. And a whole lotta boobs too. So, so many boobs. It’s boob city in here. It’s constant. It redefines egregious. And I’m not saying this because I’m someone who gets all squeamish and hides their eyes whenever there's nudity on screen either, or because I'm someone who likes the fact that American cinema is largely sexless at the moment. No, not at all. I’m also a long-time fan of the genre, so I’m aware that, after the special effects, maybe, the naked (or nearly naked) ladies are basically the whole point of making these films.

So, what I'm saying here is...

I’ve got a lot of experience with the 80s sword and sorcery genre, a complete understanding of what it is, and I’m definitely interested in what it has to offer, so I want you to listen to me when I tell you this... the 1983 Deathstalker is full to the brim with the kind of uncomfortable nudity that one doesn’t normally find outside of some third tier just-off-the-airport strip club with unusually sad vibes. It’s like… “Y’know what? I don't think anybody should be here. This isn’t fun. It all feels very unsafe. Especially for you ladies. Maybe we all should just get out of here.” Watch the film and see for yourself if you want. Long before that thing’s mere 80 minute run time is up, you’re gonna be like: "Y’know what? I think I’ve had my fill of the nudity, thank you."

So no, rest assured, Deathstalker (2025) is NOT a remake of the 1983 version at all. It merely borrows the title from Sbardellati’s film, and then it goes on to tell a completely different story, all while reveling in the fact that it is an unabashed love letter to the now somewhat forgotten, and often dismissed as silly fluff (which isn't a totally incorrect charge), sword and sorcery fantasy film genre of the 1980s.

The Kingdom of Abraxion is under siege. The Dreadite horde cuts a path of death and destruction throughout the land. Who wields the power to stand against the might of never-ending darkness? 

Enter Deathstalker.

Under triple moons, in a world where massive lumbering giants battle in the distance, Deathstalker is a former knight turned mercenary. Without a kingdom or a cause, he is surviving on the fringes of a dangerous world when he happens upon a battlefield strewn with the dead and dying. It is the fabled legions of the Kingdom of Abraxion, slaughtered by some unknown evil army.

Deathstalker immediately sets about looting their corpses for anything of value.

In the process, he takes a strange golden amulet off of a guy who was mostly dead, or would be soon enough. Later, at a nearby village, Deathstalker uses some of his recent ill-gotten gains to get some food and drink, but his meal is interrupted by the arrival of a two-headed troll, looking for the amulet.

Deathstalker kills the troll.

(Just fyi, the two-headed troll’s costume was so gross to my wife for some reason, she couldn’t even look at it. So, just put that in your pocket, in case you needed an extra reason to check this film out.)

But since the troll mentioned that there will be others looking for the amulet, Deathstalker decides to get rid of it, and throws it into a river. Unfortunately for him, the amulet almost immediately reappears in his pocket. He makes several more attempts to get rid of the amulet, but it just returns to his pocket, so he finally gives up. He’s stuck with it. Having clearly been cursed by the amulet, Deathstalker visits the witch Toralva to help him figure out get rid of it.

Toralva tells Deathalker that the amulet is now bound to him until he dies, and that if he wants to be free of it, he must free an imprisoned wizard, and they will be able to work the magic he needs. She then urges Deathstalker to be on his guard, as a great evil is rising in this blighted land.

Deathstalker braves a cave full of man-eating serpents, and manages to free the wizard Doodad. Unfortunately, Doodad is unable to read the amulet, but agrees to help Deathstalker raid the crypt of another dead wizard, where he hopes to find an old scroll that will help him translate it.

On the way, Deathstalker and Doodad discover that an ancient necromancer known as Necromemnon has returned, and that he is the one who is responsible for sending all of the monsterous assassins after the amulet. Soon after, they are attacked by Necromemnon‘s forces, commanded by Deathstalker's old friend Jotak, who Deathstalker had believed was lost on the battlefield years ago.

Deathstalker cuts off Jotak's arm and flees.

Unfortunately, Necronemnon's forces have already beaten Deathstalker and Doodad to the wizard’s crypt. While hiding from the guards in a pile of corpses, they meet the beautiful young thief, Brisbayne, and together, the trio break in and then manage to escape with the scroll.

But Necronemnon's forces pursue them, allowing the heroes no rest.

In quick succession, Deathstalker and the others fight a massive Stone Titan, a brutal Pig-man, and a teleporting Mummy who wields a flying guillotine type of weapon. It's a fantasy action extravaganza.

Later, while the trio camps for the night, Doodad manages to break the amulet's curse. He then discovers that there’s also a prophecy on the amulet, and that it describes a magical sword capable of defeating Necronemnon. 

Unfortunately, Brisbayne suddenly betrays Deathstalker and Doodad, and they are taken prisoner by Brisbayne's boss, the thief queen known as Grendul, who intends to sell the amulet to a foppish dandy of a prince. But then, in a twist that will prove to be very fortunate for Deathstaler and Doodad, Grendul accidentally angers a bunch of swamp monsters, who start killing everyone. In an even luckier twist for our heroes, Doodad is able to enchant the swamp monsters using the power of music, which then allows Deathstalker a chance to establish a friendship with the swamp monsters through the power of hugging.

But then Necronemnon’s forces attack. Jotak wants revenge on Deathstalker, as his cut off arm needed to be replaced with a monstrous one. Brisbayne shows up then, like “sorry for betraying you, you guys,” and she tries to help them with Jotak and the other bad guys, but to no avail.

Jotak manages to kill Deathstalker.

Then, proving that you truly do catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar, because they're BFFs all forever and shit due to his incredible hugs, the swamp monsters use the power of the swamp to resurrect Deathstalker. Alive once again, and mad as a sack of wet cats, Deathstalker attacks Necronemnon's fortress, looking to save his friends, to embrace his destiny, and to destroy Necronemnon forever…

Yet another film by my favorite genre nostalgist and schlock master, Steven Kostanski, much like his previous two movies, Pyscho Goreman and Frankie Freako, Deathstalker (2025) is either going to totally work for you, or not at all… not even a little bit.

The reason why is because this film is nothing but a straight-faced version of exactly how they used to make sword and sorcery films in the 1980s. Yes, there's a tongue-in-cheek aspect, but not really. There's obviously some winks and nods, but it’s not like this is a Naked Gun or Airplane movie or anything like that. This is not a parody at all, it's just a straight forward 1980's style sword and sorcery fantasy flick, with all the expected tricks and tropes and bells and whistles.

That's it.

Okay, fine, maybe not all of the tricks and tropes and bells and whistles... There's no casual racism or exoticism to speak of. There's no sexual assault either. There's no nudity. There's not even very much high-thigh to speak of, as unlike pretty much every example from the '80s, everyone in this movie wears pants.

Really, if you sent Deathstalker (2025) back in time to a 1980s video store and stuck it down on a lower shelf in the fantasy section, no one would think it was out of place, and honestly, as it’s basically a live-action He-Man, complete with a magic sword, an unimpressive little wizard, and even Man-E-Faces, it would probably be unabashedly loved by those of us who were around back then.

So really, the question of whether or not Deathstalker (2025) is a “good” film doesn’t really enter into the conversation. Is there a good story? Fuck you. What about the character development? Double fuck you. Here’s a monster instead. And a sword fight. Plus some special effects. And it’s all in the specific style of a 1980s sword and sorcery film. This is what this film is offering, and this is what you get. Take it or leave it. Just remember, you don't complain about taste when you're buying off the dollar menu, people.

Not to imply that it's not charming, it is. It's self-aware too, not to mention, funny, and it's just the right amount of trashy and fun too. It's definitely a good time, it's just... it's mostly an homage to a long gone genre. Really, it almost felt like more of an art project than an actual movie. In the end, the normal litany of compliments and complaints just don’t seem to apply.

Like I said, it will either totally work for you, or not at all… not even a little bit.

That said...

If there was one thing that I might complain about, it’s that there’s a Steve Urkele joke in this film that is so bad, it’s a crime against nature, a fact which also kind of makes it amazing? But—if you want to be a huge nerd about it—it also opens a can of worm, as it makes absolutely no sense in the context of the world. The existence of the joke implies that Doodad has not only seen, but is such a fan of the tv sitcom Family Matters, that he would then use a variation of Urkele’s famous quote, mixing it with his own name, as an end-of-fight quip. 

This isn’t a dealbreaker or anything. I mean... it's definitely bullshit. But it's not a dealbreaker, but really only because complaining about these kinds of things, at least in the context of film like this, just seems kind of silly.

Kostanski has said that his goal, when he set out to make this movie, was to deliver “the other half of the Boris Vallejo poster,” explaining how these sword and sorcery films often had no problem when it came to delivering on the promise of titillation, but they would usually fall a little short when it came to delivering on the promise of the monsters and the action. So, as a result, he decided to leave the naked ladies to the rest of the Deathstalker franchise–which, as I mentioned already, they do in spades–and instead focus on the action and the monsters.

The end result is while action is fine, the creature effects really are fantastic. Like in Psycho Goreman and Frankie Freako, Kotanski's movies excel at their practical special effects, especially the monsters, and most especially when you consider the budget they were clearly working under. That alone is worth the ride.

So, here we are again, this is yet another film that I am definitely going to give a big thumb's up, but I would also caution you all that at the same time, it's a film that is definitely not going to be for everyone.

But on the other hand, if you grew up on these kinds of movies, the seemingly endless supply of fantasy films that low budget Hollywood was making back in the '80s, from Clash of the Titans, to Beastmaster, to Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer, to Red Sonja, to Dragonslayer, to Hawke the Slayer, to Krull, to Lady Hawke, to the Lou Ferrigno’s Hercules, to Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger, the one where Jane Seymour was an absolute baddie as Princess Farrah…

Then you will definiltely find that there's a lot to love in the 2025 version of Deathstalker.