John Wick: Chapter 4

The saga of a pet owner’s completely reasonable reaction to someone hurting their furbaby reaches its conclusion as John Wick continues to John Wick the hell out of a bunch of dummies who thought they could out-John Wick John Wick himself, which is dumb, because nobody out-John Wicks John Wick. This is John Wick we’re talking about here, people. THE John Wick. He literally invented the art of John Wicking the hell out of large groups of people. Now, in the final chapter, as the price on his head increases—due to all the people he has John Wicked—the legendary hit man, John Wick, takes his fight directly against the ruling authority of The High Table in this beloved shoot ‘em up series I’m convinced is fanfic of the comic book 100 Bullets, while also being an unapologetic love letter to our favorite action stars in the kind of sincere, fun, and exciting way that The Expendables franchise is incapable of doing.

In a nutshell, there’s four of these now, so if you liked the previous movies, then you’ll like this one. There you go. Review’s over. Easy-peesy Lemon squeezy.

Thanks for dropping by.

For the rest of you… This one is the wrap-up of the story that began with Theon Greyjoy killing John Wick’s puppy, a terrible decision which resulted in the man the global criminal underworld speaks of in hushed whispers, leaving literally hundreds and hundreds of dead bodies in his wake.

Obviously though, they all deserved it for taking the side of the puppy-killer.

This time though (also like the last couple of times), the fights are bigger and wilder, there’s more bullets, more stabbing, more kicking, more punching, more car crashes, and somehow… more explosions. This time, you’ll not only get to see John Wick break the cardinal rule: never get on the empty subway car, but you’ll also get to see Donny Yen as Daredevil, which is even more awesome that it sounds. Also, as an unexpected bonus, you get Shamier Anderson as the mysterious Tracker, with his super backpack bag o’ tricks, and his dog best friend—a character who deserves their own series.

Otherwise, it's really kind of silly for me to review this film.

What are we going to talk about? The film’s themes of the toxicity of honor and legacy? The way it comments on how rules and consequence are really just a thin veneer covering society’s rabid bloodlust, and wholly dependent on the members of that society agreeing to abide by them? The continual nod to John Wick’s reluctance to fight and his constant stated desire to “get out of the life” as an indictment of the obvious falsehood that is society’s claim to abhor violence?

Why bother? You already know if you’re going, right? Shit, you’ve probably already seen it by now. Twice.

I will say that I loved the nod to the film The Warriors, absolutely perfect, but I was disappointed that they didn’t take the opportunity to have John Wick get attacked by a gang of Mime Assassins. I mean… he was in Paris, for God’s sake.

Also, since this might be my last opportunity to complain about this…

It still bothers me that they call John Wick “Baba Yaga” in this film. John Wick as a character and Baba Yaga as a creature of folklore have almost zero points in common for that nickname to make any sense. Baba Yaga was a witch woman who would steal, cook, and eat her victims, usually children. She was known to fly around in a mortar, wielding a pestle, and lived deep in the forest in a house that had the legs of a chicken. How does that fit John Wick, master assassin?

Now, obviously, this is just me randomly pulling an arbitrary alternative out of my ass, but for the sake of example…

I think something like Chernobog would’ve worked better for the character. A dark, devil-like deity in Slavic mythology, so feared that almost no knowledge still exists about him, it is known that he was a defiler of purity and a corrupter of good things, a cursed figure, whose name translates to "Black God.” Chernobog’s name itself was often considered a curse in many Slavic languages, used to describe something extra terrible. I think something like that would’ve fit better for John Wick and what he does, and it still sounds cool to say, just like Baba Yaga.

In the end, while I do really enjoy the John Wick franchise, and believe it to be a peak Gun Kata movie, these types of films suffer from diminishing returns for me. As cool as it can be in the specific moments, there’s only so many ways you can make killing a roomful of bad guys interesting, so I believe this is supposed to be the last John Wick film, and I hope that’s true, because as much as I like them, after this one, there is no where left to go but down.