The Fly

When scientist Seth Brundle completes his teleportation device, he decides to test its abilities on himself. Unbeknownst to him, a common housefly has slipped into device with him, leading to a horrifying merger of man and insect. Soon enough, Brundle begins to become less a man, and more... a monster.

So, this is one of those movies that for some reason, I’ve never actually seen.

But Jon, how can that be, you ask? The Fly is a classic movie, an icon, not just for genre films, but for cinema in general! It stars Jeff goldblum and Geena Davis! It's Cronenberg, man! To which I say... I know. There's no particular reason why I've never watched this film, I just… haven't. Of course, being that I'm a filmhead who exists in the world of pop culture in general, I still know enough about the film to be able to recognize references to it, but yeah, when it comes to me having ever actually sat down and watch the thing? Nope.

So, I decided to change that.

My wife was convinced that she had seen this film before, and not only that, but she claimed that when she did see it, it was with me. I knew that this wasn't true, of course, because like I said, I've never seen The Fly, but she was absolutely sure of it, saying: "Who else would I have watched something like this with?" Which is a fair point. However, a few minutes into the film, it quickly became clear to her that she had never actually seen it either. This realization threw her. “But what film am I thinking of then?" she wondered aloud, over and over, at great length, while I was trying to watch The Fly. "What movie could I have watched where it’s about a man, who is an insect, who also preys on women?”

“Spider-Man: No Way Home?” I offered.

“No…”

“Amazing Spider-Man 2?” I suggested.

“No," she said, searching her mind. "It was an older movie…”

“Spider-Man 3?”

“No!” she said firmly, like it was my fault that she couldn't remember. I was just trying to be helpful. Rest assured, it wasn't any of the many Spider-man films, or Madame Web, or either of the Venom films either. I checked. In the end, there was no answer. We’re both still stumped. Well, she is. It's my theory that she fell asleep on the couch one night while I was watching something that most likely barely mentioned insects at all, and she dreamed the whole thing.

However, she is absolutely sure that this is not the case...

Anyway, The Fly is one of David Cronenberg's most well-known films, a pop culture icon that deservedly won the 1987 Oscar for best make-up. 1987 was, of coures, a ridiculously long time ago. It was so long ago that the characters in this film all tuck their shirts into extremely high-waisted slacks, and then walk around like it doesn't look insane that their waistlines are practically in their armpits. Also, in this movie, everyone casually smokes in their homes, all the time, and they all have huge and obviously oft-used ceramic ashtrays on display as a regular part of the decor, like: "Look at my huge ceramic ashtray here on my kitchen table! It’s a centerpiece! People from any place around my table can use it simultaneously, but despite its massive size, despite the way it takes up a huge swath of real estate here on my table, it’s mostly for me! Currently, it’s filled with smashed butts and ash! How lovely! Would you like some quiche?"

Truly, we were young and wild and free.

Anyway, in a movie about how Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy was right, Seth Brundle is a genius and a man who only ever wears the exact same outfit. He is also a man who from a young age would get carsick. Because of this, he became a scientist with an eye towards helping people who are similarly as afflicted as he is. Does this mean that he focused on disrupting the confused signals sent to the brain by an inner ear thrown off-balance by repeated motion? No, dummy, it means he built a teleporter obviously, because once teleporters exist, there's no reason for vehicles to exist. It all makes sense.

Seth Brundle is also an absolute sociopath. He's a man who gets baboons to fall in love him, to rush into his arms and nuzzle him out of the purest love and trust, and then he puts them into his experimental teleporter and turns them inside out. Not on purpose, of course, he’s not a monster! He'd prefer they not turn inside out, as that would mean the teleporter works, but still... they definitely do turn inside, and this is also the most common outcome, and the result is a gooey mewling mess that is also possibly still alive, so… yeah. Back to the drawing board, Seth, and be sure to order another baboon!

Where is he getting all of these baboons?  

Meanwhile, Veronica Quaife, a name that at first sounds like they're saying "Veronica Queef" but thankfully are not, is an ace reporter for a magazine that sounds like it's basically just Macworld, but the movie seems to treat it like it's more akin to Rolling Stone. Veronica likes her men tall and lanky, so when she and Seth lock eyes from across the room, it's all over. Their fiery passion is akin to the undying fury of a thousand burning suns, and soon enough all our loins are alight with the passionate flames of their blissful lovemaking, not to mention all of their walking around in their 80s era underwear and undeniable 80s era sexiness.

Unfortunately, Veronica also has a creepizoid boss, who just so happens to be her ex-boyfriend too. I forget his name, but he sucks. Big time. He's a lanky fucker too, but with a sitcom dad beard and a Cosby sweater. He is obviously harboring some anger issues too, as he casually breaks into her apartment to shower when he’s not stalking, consumed with jealousy. He blackmails her too, and will casually suggest occasionally that he and Veronica have some stress relieving sex, heavily implying that this PCWorld magazine she works at does not have an HR department. Much like the fanciful ashtrays that seem to adorn every shelf and table, nothing screams "It's the 1980s" more than the fact that the film doesn't treat the creepy boss/ex-boyfriend character like the complete fucking scumbag that he obviously is, and at worst, portrays him as only kind of a schmuck. Plus, he has a gun, of course. So, taking America’s favorite math problem of entitled white guy plus firearm, and it's pretty easy to guess what issues this Checkov's Asshole is gonna cause.

But Seth is no better really, as he's a pretty typical weirdo STEM guy sociopath, so he is also very easily consumed with jealousy as soon as it becomes apparent that Veronica’s entire world doesn’t revolve around him, and this leads to a long bitter night of drunken inspiration and a successfully teleported Baboon. Huzzah, it's not inside out! Seth celebrates! He's done it. The not-inside-out baboon leaps about with its beloved human father-figure in complete ignorance of how closely it came to what looks like a truly horrible death. Seth, meanwhile, emboldened by his unexpected victory, decides to teleport himself… and also a fly.

Oops.

Oh, the hubris…

If this was your average comic book movie, this is how Seth would have become a fly-themed superhero, and for a brief moment, he does, strutting around shirtless and superstrong, doing unasked-for gymnastics, constantly wanting more sugar, as well as more sex, more so even than you'd expect from a guy dating Geena Davis.

Truly, he is the pinnacle of manhood.

But, this is a Cronenberg film, so it mostly just gets grosser after this.

First, much like Peter Parker in the black symbiote suit, Seth becomes a huge jerk. Then he becomes a huge gooey jerk. Eventually, once he finally discovers the truth of what is happening to him, and realizes he can't stop his changing, he becomes sad and penitent, but mostly just gooey.

That’s the rest of the film… a steadily increasing amount of gooeyness as the man slowly succumbs to the monster, all while presenting a pretty good argument for a woman’s right to healthcare. Not to mention being a cautionary tale for those of us out there who may also be wondering at what point is it okay for someone to break off a relationship when your significant other is slowly metamorphosing into a fly?

In the end, it's easy to see why this film is a classic, as it's simply great, and even if it's not exactly timeless, it's close enough. Like most of Cronenberg's films, The Fly is pretty dark, a little nauseating, not to mention a bit deviant. It's a quickly-paced 96 minutes of vomit-soaked mayhem. It's also one of his best films, well-deserving of all its accolades and awards, especially the make-up effects as Seth deteriorates into a fly monster, which is, good lord... it's incredible.

While most definitely a film "of its time" The Fly is still a ton of gross fun.

It is also one where the villain is really more of a victim, in a story that could be viewed as metaphor for the ravages of terminal diseases, like cancer, or even the AIDS epidemic, it is the mid-80s after all, although this is an interpretation that Croneberg admittedly downplays. Still it seems pretty valid. Either way, at the very least, The Fly is clearly a metaphor for aging, and the way that the body will slowly fall apart and wither, the way the mind will lose focus and lucidity, and a person will find themselves helpless, caught in an inevitable process that is unable to be halted or reversed. It’s good stuff.

I'm glad I finally sat down to watch this. You probably already have, bf you haven't actually sat down to watch this, then you should.