The Gray Man

When the CIA's top asset—a man whose identity is known to no one—uncovers some damning agency secrets, he finds himself to be a marked man, the target of a global manhunt by deadly assassins set loose on him by his ex-colleagues.

This is an aggressively middling film.

Bringing new definition to the word “rote,” THE GRAY MAN is not good by any standard, but it’s also never really bad in any particular way either. Instead, it is a competently made film, its money and technical ability always on clear display, never surprising, nor exciting, constantly moving from one set piece to the next, and all while filled with plot “twists” that are so expected, I wouldn’t be surprised to discover that it was mostly written by AI.

The cast is certainly impressive, and they seem to be having a good time as they steadily follow the clearly laid out path of their respective characters, and honestly, I hope they all enjoy their no-doubt hefty paychecks. They definitely earned it, what with all the running and jumping and diving away from explosions and whatnot. That shit looked like it must have been exhausting. And good on the Russos for hiring so many drone operators too. All the whooshing camera work in this film, it was… y’know… very swoop-y. Very swoopy. But in the end, this is a film that clearly couldn’t decide which cliche spy “thriller” plot it wanted to use, so it was pretty much just uses all of them, one by one, as if ticking off boxes on a list.

If you happen to be stoned on the couch on a Sunday afternoon, and it comes on the TV randomly, and the remote is juuuust out of reach… sure, watch it. Otherwise, you’re not missing anything by passing.

Also, just an aside… the kid in this film runs really weird. I feel bad for her, because it’s the kind of thing that everyone notices immediately, where you all see it and share silent shocked looks, but you don’t say anything, because how could you? “Holy shit, kid, you run like a weirdo!” That’s just mean. You do that, and the kid will never run again in their life, and what if they come upon a pack of wild dogs? No one needs that on their conscious. So, you gotta feel bad for this kid, getting to be in a big movie that isn’t very good, all while running like a flailing goon for everyone to see… That shit will haunt you forever.

Anyway… Weird runner. Mediocre film.