The Old Guard

A group of seemingly immortal warriors, able to heal any wound and to cheat death itself, who have existed in secret for centuries, realize that someone has seen them and has recognized them for what they are, so now they must fight to protect their secret… and their freedom.

Based on the comic by writer Greg Rucka and artist Leandro Fernández, published by Image comics, and named after the oldest infantry unit in the United States Army, the book follows the adventures of a group of immortal soldiers trying to navigate the modern world, doing the only thing they know how to do. Led by the 6700 year old warrior woman, they are soldiers for good causes. But in the 21st century, good causes are harder and harder to find, and the secret of their immortality is even harder to keep. And on top of that, if being immortal has taught them anything, it’s that there are many fates worse than death. 

It’s a relatively easy concept with a small cast of characters.

Besides, Andromache “Andy” of Scythia, who first died on a long forgotten battlefield long ago, there’s Sebastian “Booker“ Le Livre, a former thief from the late 1800s France, who first died in the service of Napoleon. There’s Yusuf “Joe” al-Kaysani, a Muslim artist from North Africa, and the love of his long, long life, Nicole “Nicky” di Genoa, a former Catholic priest, who first met each other in the Crusades, and first died by each other’s hand on the battlefield. And finally, there’s Nile Freeman, a young woman from Chicago, and a marine who recently died in Afghanistan, who is now the newest member of the Old Guard.

With the exception of Nile, who only recently died for the first time, the rest of them have been warriors forever, and they’re really good at it.

They’ve definitely put in their 10,000 hours.

The story opens on our heroes, all shot to death, and Andy’s voice-over: “I’ve been here before, over and over again, and each time, the same question… Is this it? Will this time be the one? And each time, the same answer...” (Her bullet wounds begin to heal.) “And I’m just so tired of it.”

A flashback explains how the Old Guard accepted a job from former CIA agent named James Copley—someone they’ve worked with before, despite their rule to never repeat clients lest their secret get out—to rescue a group of kidnapped girls in South Sudan. Unfortunately, the mission is a ruse, and they are ambushed and killed, and it turns out, the whole thing was set up just so that Copley could film their regenerative healing abilities.

Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, U.S. Marine Nile Freeman is killed during a house search, but she recovers and heals without a scratch, which freaks out her friends and squad mates. Her sudden resurrection brings her to the attention of Andy and the others, as they all dream of each other, and can feel each other’s presence out in the world, much like in the movie Highlander. But unlike in Highlander, there doesn't need to be only one immortal, so while the others try to hunt down Copley, Andy goes to find Nile before the U.S, government can transfer her somewhere and start running some very invasive tests.

While all this is going on, Copley shows his video to Martin Shkreli-like pharma bro exec named Steven Merrick, who decides to capture the team, figure out their secret, and then live forever while making billions off the suffering of others.

Otherwise known as the Dream of All Capitalists Everywhere.

As Nile gets to know the rest of the group, we learn that their immortality is actually randomly finite, and could stop working at any time, meaning each new death could actually be their last, it just usually isn't.

That night, Nile dreams about a woman repeatedly drowning in an Iron Maiden. When she shares her dream with the others, telling them that the woman felt like she had been driven mad, trapped and drowning in darkness over and over again, they recognize her as Quynh, the first immortal Andy met, aside from herself. 500 years ago, Quynh‘s immortality was discovered, and she was sentenced to death for witchcraft and tossed into the sea, bound within the confines of an Iron Maiden. The other have been looking for her for years, but have been unable to locate her, and Andy still carries the guilt of being unable to find her friend.

But before that particular future story seed can be explored further, they’re ambushed by some of Merrick‘s mercenaries, because apparently, despite the fact that they have been doing this shit for centuries, and were also recently ambushed just a few days ago, the Old Guard doesn't seem to give a shit about perimeter security, I guess. Which calls into question just how good they are as warriors, or maybe they've just grown sloppy without the fear of death.

Either way, string up some tin cans at least, guys.

Joe and Nicky are captured. A blown up Booker is left behind. During the fight, Andy is wounded and realizes she isn't healing, a fact she conceals. Unaware of all of this, Niles decides to head home and see her family again. Meanwhile, Joe and Nicky are transported to Merrick Pharmaceutical's headquarters in London, where they are strapped down and tortured in lab tests. Andy and Booker find Copley, but Booker betrays Andy as Merrick’s mercenaries arrive, revealing that he is the one that betrayed them to Merrick in the hope that the Pharma bro might find a way to end the immortality that they have both grown weary of.

But in the end, the Pharma Bro betrays them–Shocker–and they all end up strapped down in the same lab togther, all four of them right next to each other, with only Niles to save them…

After that, there’s a whole bunch of running and shooting, and a whole bunch of bullets, and you can probably guess how it all ends up. And in an epilogue, we find out that Quynh is not only no longer trapped in that Iron Maiden. Excellent! But that now that she’s out, she's looking for Andy and the others.

Bogus...

Another spin on the John Wick genre, and directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood (The Woman King), The Old Guard is admittedly a pretty standard action flick, with all the expected story beats of the genre, all of which play out exactly as you’d expect them too.

But that said, it's still fun.

And I like the team a lot too. Not only are they charming and diverse, and all have distinctive personalities, none of it feels forced or pandering. In fact, when Joe and Nicky, with their Meet Cute of killing each over and over again on some Crusades battlefield long ago, are mocked by the evil corporate mercenaries for being gay, Joe’s declaration of his love for Nicky is not only touching, but it’s as iconic as any hero’s speech you'll ever find in one of these action films.

Yes, it's true, The Old Guard is melodramatic, and it doesn’t really contain any surprises, and it often prefers to tell you everything that’s happening all while it simultaneously shows you what's happening, AND the way it imparts its dramatic information is often real clunky, but still, like I said… it’s fun.

I’m definitely looking forward to Part 2 when it’s released on Netflix in July.