Lists and Commentary

Top 20 Movies of 2024

My favorite films of 2024

Jonathan Hansen

14 Mar 2025 • 5 min read

INT. ABANDONED MOVIE THEATRE - DAY

Text over a black screen as we slowly fade in:

"The Ruins of America, not so far from now…"

(We see an auditorium, a once clean and neatly-ordered movie theatre, the kind you could find in any mall multiplex, but now it’s in ruins. The rows of seats are still bright red, as they’re rarely touched by the sunlight, but the concrete floor is filthy, streaked with mud and garbage, like it had once been flooded, but has now dried. The ceiling is broken and sagging, with several tiles moldering visibly, while others are missing. There’s a hole in the center of the roof, and a single sharp beam of sunlight pierces the gloom, casting back the shadows. At the back of the theatre, the exit door is open onto a black hole.)

Old Man (voice-over from off-screen):

The sun is cold.

I watch my breath fog in the pale gray light fallin' through the hole in the ceiling. I shiver and sniffle, and wonder when it was I was last warm. The camps, probably, before the bird flu, the furnaces burned all night and day, maybe before the night of the Burning Cross. Definitely before the Collapse. It’s hard to say, the years get jumbled in my head now, so remembering a time when I wasn't cold and sore, when my skin wasn't chapped raw from the frigid air... that was another life.

I can hear the wind howling through the old mall, a wail of lament that makes the very walls groan in sympathy, but not way back here. Back here, there's no wind at least, but it's still cold. I can’t build a fire though. It’s still too bright out. The smoke would be clearly visible as it leaked through the broken roof, too easy for the bad folks to spot.

They’ve been shadowing me a few days now, sniffing along my trail, scurrying between the lines of old cars rusting into the weed-choked road as I followed the old highway out of the city. I’ve caught glimpses of them slinking around back there, peeking, all pale and rail-thin, hunched, baring their broken teeth at me, draped in hoarded ropes of glittery jewels and ruined finery, threadbare and stiff with old blood. Cowards. Waiting for their chance. Keeping their distance. Biding their time. Filthy things.

Man-eaters.

The suburbs are a dangerous place...

I managed to ditch 'em, but they’re still lurking nearby. I heard 'em trashing the stores a while ago, yipping and growling, yelling at each other, demanding to be first, always to be first. That's mine! That's mine! Screeching angrily at each other. Evil fuckers... I haven't heard them in a while, but I know they're still out there. Still close. Still hunting me. Still waiting. But they haven't caught me yet. I'm tucked away back here in my little movie theatre refuge, hiding away for a bit from the terrible reality of the world until things get a little better out there. It’ll probably be a while, so I might as well settle in, maybe think about the movies for a bit.

At least there’s no wind…

Fade out.

(And… scene! Thank you! Thank you!)

It’s been a real shitty year.

It’s been the shittiest year, actually. Or like the old joke goes, it's been the shittiest year… so far. It’s been a year of unmasking and betrayals, a year of celebrating lies, corruption, and naked greed, a year of giving voice to cruelty and bigotry, a year of ignorance and hate, a year of White Christian Nationalism, transgender panic, and xenophobic hatred. It's been a year of validating monsters, fools, assholes, and con artists, not to mention their sycophantic legions of mediocre devotees too. More than anything else, it’s been a year that has shown us pretty clearly that there is nothing ahead of us now but an even more shitty future.

Dark days. Dark times.

But, hey, at least it was an interesting year at the Oscars, right? That glamorous and star-studded work function where the luminaries and power brokers of the film industry celebrate themselves with a lavish production of wild excess. That’s entertainment, right? Oh, the pagentry! And all happening mere steps away from camps of unhoused, ignored, and forgotten. All while a fascist coup seizes the rains of power too! Ahhhh-Merica! (flags and sparkles and jazz hands while an eagle cries! Ka-Kaw! Patriotism!)

Truly, this is the greatest country on Earth!

I’m a little more behind on seeing some of the nominated films this year than usual. This is mostly due to that pesky old COVID pandemic that's been over for a long time now, even though it keeps infecting people… but regardless of that wildly overt and continual display of White Privilege forcing itself on our reality, the truth is, whether you've seen all the films or not, when the Oscars finally hit, the year is done. Which means it’s past time for me to post my list of favorite movies for 2024! You can find 2023’s list here, btw...

So, yeah, let’s forget our troubles for a scant few hours and go to the movies! Whatta ya' say? Hurray for escapism, right, because it's all we have! Don’t forget to swing by the concession stand and grab yourself some popcorn! Watch out for old nails over there! I don't think that reasonable bastion of health and common sense, RFK jr., allows tetanus shots anymore, but that's cool. After all, if you just get some exercise, eat beef tallow fries, and don't step on a rusty nail... you won't need any dirty old shots. Besides, they put chemicals in those! Gross. You'll be fine! Plus, a little lockjaw amongst friends just means there's more smiles to share, amirite?

Anyway... A quick reminder before we dive in, forget all our troubles, c'mon get happy, and chase all our blues away, my list is objectively right. If your list differs, than it is objectively wrong! Not to mention Fake News! Ha! We're kidders here, we kid, but seriously, don't make me call the Real Patriots Anti-Antifa Hotline on you, because I will.

So, without further adieu…

And that’s it, folks! Another year bites the dust, and around the same time as our democracy did too! That’s fun! Anyway, see you next year—may we all still be alive then—but until that day, I’ll see you… at the movies!

In the meantime, though, seriously… watch out for the cannibals.