Top Gun: Maverick

After more than 30 years of service as one of the Navy's top aviators, Pete "Maverick" Mitchell is content with his life, busy pushing the envelope as a courageous test pilot and dodging the advancement in rank that would ground him. But when he is called back to train a detachment of Top Gun graduates for a special assignment, Maverick must confront the ghosts of his past, as well as his deepest fears, all culminating in a dangerous secret mission that may demand the ultimate sacrifice from the brave pilots chosen to fly it, including Pete “Maverick” Mitchell himself...

I wasn’t looking forward to this film.

I had put it off for awhile, eyeing all of the rather effusive acclaim pretty warily, especially since I was burned by listening to some of the same people when they gushed over that piece of shit Joker movie. The way I looked at it, those people all seemed to like that very suspect film that turned out to be terrible, and now, they seem to like this potentially very suspect film too. I smelled a trap. Like that nepo-baby nitwit GWB once said: “Fool me once, shame on… shame on you. Fool me… you can't get fooled again.”

Truer words…

Plus, I was never really all that crazy for the original film either.

Don’t get me wrong, it was fine. I don’t have any problem with it, but it’s not like I’ve revisited it a bunch of times. Also, I know exactly what this new film has to be, if it’s going to be a legitimate Top Gun sequel, and all that Cold War era, Rah Rah America imperialism bullshit, all that’s over, right? That rough beast’s time came around long ago, you know what I’m saying? It’s just not cool, not to mention gross.

Do I really want to see that?

Turns out, I did.

Is it corny? I mean, they steal an F-14 Tomcat from… I think Russia?… all so that Goose’s kid can sit in the backseat and be the new Goose, and you ask me if it’s corny? My Brother in Christ, this shit is the corniest corn in the history of corny corn, but also, that’s exactly what it should be, right? That big dumb sincerity? That “No, you’re my wingman! Man-hugs and flags! ‘Murica!” This is what you’re buying when you pay the price of admission, baby. Don’t pay the price if you don’t want the meal. Plus, all the highflying flippity-flip “Fox Two!” danger zone pilot shit?

Y’know what… It was awesome.

Anyway, Maverick is an incredibly predictable film that will somehow surprise you with its idiot audacity, the kind that when you see what their intent is, you go: “of course… of course that’s what they’re doing,” and yet, it somehow all works. It’s not heavy or deep, but it is fun.

One issue with I had with this film is the whole “dogfight” football scene is dumb, and the entire idea feels like something a nerd who has never played sports made up. Plus, that scene was barely intensely homoerotic at all, which is like spitting in the original film’s face, frankly, and is a surprisingly poor decision too, especially given how well they otherwise balance the whole nostalgic call-back legacy sequel thing.

Finally, yes, the lack of Kelly McGillis is a bit weird, leaning into gross, but what are ya’ gonna do? Tom Cruise is an aging male movie star, and richer than most humans have a right to be, it’s entirely possible that he deliberately bars any woman close to his own actual age from entering his line of sight. I don’t know if that’s true, I’m just saying, what’re ya’ gonna do? Tom Cruise is weird-running little pyramid scheme culty weirdo… but he’s a weirdo who does make good movies.