Luke’s Plan Totally Made Sense

Like a lot of nerds of a certain age and inclination, Star Wars figures prominently in the shaping of my interests. So, because of that, sometimes I feel like talking about the franchise, and what with the release of The Mandalorian and Grogu, I figured now was as good a time as any.

I first saw Star Wars (the first film, the one that they'd eventually call "A New Hope") in the theatre in 1977 or 1978, when I was three or four. According to my mother, I was already filled to the brim with Star Wars love long before I had even seen the film. Afterwards, I was even worse. It blew my mind, and opened all sorts of doors in my head. I watched it when it was replayed on TV. I watched it over and over and over again when it was on HBO. I even saw it at a Drive-in. The very first Christmas after seeing it, I got a huge haul of the toys. I rented it on VHS when we also had to rent the VCR from the video store. I later owned it on VHS. I was there when they re-released it, both times. I devoured the Original Trilogy. Star Wars was maybe the thing that brought me here to Internet Nerd Spaces.

This is not a new story.

Neither is the fact that I was there for the big return of the franchise, the beginning of its modern era, the release of the Prequels. It's hard to describe how strange that time period was, how hungry people seemed to be for this film, not to mention the way society seemed to switch its attitude when it came to the way it felt about Nerd Stuff, how it went from being a weird hobby to a featured story. But most of all, it was so strange how it was all just suddenly so present. Because for years, there had been nothing, nothing but bad comics and worse novels, or an occasional thing on TV that went so far out of its way to never even mention anything that happened in the movies, they almost seemed unrelated. Now, suddenly, it was all coming back, plus a new thing, a new movie, and best of all, that movie was going to finally tell us the story that we'd always wanted to see. It was going to be great.

I mean, it wasn't... but oh man, the run-up to that release?

What a time.

Because, yeah, like I said... Star Wars was suddenly everywhere. We were inundated with it. People famously camped out in huge lines. It was the funniest that Triumph the Insult Comic Dog ever was, and ever will be. And as a result, just like how the original film–along with its New Hollywood compatriots–helped to create the modern blockbuster, the giddy wait for the Phantom Menace forever changed fan culture. The nerd world was so crazy for Star Wars, the energy was so great, the normie world was forced to bend the knee before everything Geek, and it has yet to fully stand up on its own two feet again.

The Age of the Nerd had begun...

I will never forget those last few moments in the packed Chinese theatre in L.A., just before Phantom Menace started. The crowd buzzed, a low roar of excited noise and pure anticipation. The theatre was a sea of jittery movement, festooned with a forest of lightsabers that throbbed and flashed and waved. Cosplayers strutted the aisles with smug impunity, citizens of status on a geek promenda, resplendant in their weirdo plummage. It was like a methed-up muppet show audience, a dork bacchanalia, an open and unabashed Nerdapalooza the likes of which the world had never seen, and honestly, should never be forced to witness again. Packed in together, cheek to jowl, after waiting for hours in the sun, dizzy and nervous, we were so drunk with excitement, the mob of us so poised on a razor's edge of feral emotion, the air seeming to crackle with wild electricity, we were vibrating with expectancy. The theatre must have smelled awful. But not to us. We were lost in the heady miasma of our own blissful hope. We could all feel it, after these long months, long years, it was finally coming to a head, the wait was nearly over, and we were nearly there, the release was imminent. Relief! Finally, sweet relief! In that moment, anything could've happened. But what would it be? Orgy? Violence? Stroke? All of it was just as likely, and yet, none of it would have truly satisfied us, for only thing could slake our thirst, only one thing could satisfy our want! We are here, George, we await your testimony with enrapt attention!

Bless us with your vision!

Thankfully for everyone in attendance, as well as the rest of the world, not to mention, the theatre cleaning crew... the lights dimmed and the trailers began, and the entire theatre unleashed. We booed every single trailer. Every single one, all as loud and as long as we could. Boos became moos. Moos became a wall of noise. It was a cacophony of joy that could be contained no longer, the most exhuberant of exhalations, a celebration of all of us, and for all of us, because together, at long last, we'd made it! It was here! It was finally here!

And then, two hours later, the crushing disappointment.

For a time, we fought against it. We made our excuses. We argued our myriad explanations. But eventually, we all just had to admit it. Sure, our expectations had perhaps been a little too high. Sure, the anticipation had perhaps grown a little too feverish. But God damn... that film sucked. It was a dark time to be a nerd. Some of us have never made it out of that place. Others soldiered on. Some... were broken forever. But no matter how you fared during that long hot summer, twenty-seven years gone, in the end, all that remained was a single truth: To love Star Wars, was also to hate it, and eventually, to understand that it is not perfect, and in fact...

And that's fine. Wonderful, even. Silly is great.

Because Star Wars is nothing but a fairy tale in space, a raygun fantasy, a space opera of myth and legend inspired by a myriad of sources, from spinner racks full of pulp novels and comic books, to matinee serial heroes, to quick-draw westerns and their samurai brothers, to 1950s hot rods, to the Nazis in World War 2, to the Viet Cong in Vietnam, and to the modern day military-industrial christian fascism of America. It’s pure entertainment, simple and thrilling, a child's toy, but one still very capable of speaking clearly and undeniably about timely issues and social ills.

It's also a mega-brand, of course, especially now.

Because at this point, Star Wars is a straight-up corporate money-making machine, completely soulless, completely successful, and focused only on the bottom line, vomiting out a torrent of dreams with no concern for quality, mostly because it doesn't really matter either way, as most of the audience truly does not give a shit. Even if you've never seen Star Wars, you still know it's myriad bits and pieces. It's everywhere. Like The Force, it surrounds us and penetrates us, binds us together. The franchise is now irrevocably entangled within our culture. Honestly, I don't think it can be killed. Not anymore. No matter how bad some of it may get, or how many of us turn away, it will always come back, sometimes even with good things to offer, and the cycle will begin anew, with who knows what fresh wonders and disappointments awaiting us. To quote a different franchise, one that owes at least some of its existence to the cultural pehnomenon that is Star Wars...

"It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity! Or remorse or fear! And it absolutely will not stop! Ever! Until you are dead!”

But still, even then, you can't help but love it, at least a little bit... even if the franchise does have issues. Like, how most of the movies are actually pretty bad. Or how it's got some of the worst fans out there, just ask any POC actor who has had a visible role. Or how it continues to rely on the appropriation of non-white and non-american cultures as the main tool with which to define its alien cultures as alien. Or how the fact that George Lucas originally intended the Rebels to be representative of the Viet Cong, while the Empire was meant to represent America, has basically been discarded, trampled by the very people who are the source of the problem Lucas was trying to highlight.

It can sometimes be hard to look past that stuff, especially now, when the stories, and the worlds in which they take place, all seem to have as much weight as cotton candy, a sweetly gauzy bit of fluff, quickly melting away, and leaving nothing but a gritty coating on your teeth and tongue.

But like I said, you can't help but love it.

At least, I can't...

So, here we are. It's time for some of that love.

It's time for a Nerd Out.

Matt Ryan, of The Hard Pass (which is on Ghost, so that's great, no Nazi-supporting Substack), wrote an article titled "What Was Luke's Plan in 'Return of the Jedi'?". In it, he talks about how one night, he and a bunch of Star Wars Uber-Nerds were sitting around, chatting, as we are wont to do, and a question came up. "If Luke’s plan to rescue Han from Jabba had worked perfectly, what would that plan have been?" And how no one could answer this question. He then goes on to detail the well-known events from Return of the Jedi, and through a series of Star Wars jokes that were clearly born out of love, his basic supposition is that Luke had no plan at all, and if he did, it was absolutely nonsensical.

This idea has a lot of support out there in the nerd spaces, akin to how people latched onto the idea that if Indiana Jones had never gone to Cairo, and had never gotten involved with the hunt for the arc, Raiders of the Lost Ark would've worked out the same way in the end. These kinds of things happen when the internet's pop culture-obsessed click culture and a bunch of people riffing on a thing they know backwards and forwards meet. At its best, it's a little like the movie Galaxy Quest, it's fun, it's funny, and it clearly loves the source material. So, while this is one of those things, the end result is that a lot of people really do seem to think that Luke's plan made no sense.

I disagree.

So, does that mean that I'm claiming that Luke's plan makes sense as shown on screen? Taken at face value? No. But do I think you can make sense of it? I think so, yes. Does that mean this is the right answer? No. Is it possible there's another answer? Sure. Is it possible that there's no answer? Definitely. Does the fact most nerds out there–which apprently includes people who actually work at Lucasfilm–seem to agree that the plan makes no sense, mean that there is in fact no answer? No. Does the fact that you work at Lucasfilm automatically mean you're an expert, as George Lucas and Lawrence Kasdan explaining that the plan makes no sense on purpose is in the Employee Handbook? No. Absolutely not. Does literally any of this matter as the world crumbles and burns right outside our collective windows? Obviously not. But does that mean I'm not about to go on anyway, most likely at great length, in a post that maybe only a single digit amount of people will actually read, basically saying that all these mother fuckers are not only wrong, but can eat a whole bag of dicks, because I, and I alone, am right? No, it does not mean that, because yes, they are, yes, they can, and most of all, yes, I most certainly am.

Just kidding. A little.

Honestly, I don't think the basic question is all that wrong. No one ever explains the plan in the film. And certainly none of the characters even acknowledge that a plan is even in action. And the sequence of events as they happen on screen are all pretty loosely connected, at best. So, yeah... it's fair to say that there might not be a plan there, or at least, it appears that way, if all you're willing to do is accept what the film directly tells you, of course. But just to be clear, I'm not saying that Matt and the other nerds are wrong (I mean, they are...), because in fact, I can't say that. There's no definitive answer here, and ultimately, all we have to go by is what's on screen. So, all I'm doing here is nerding out a bit. Yes, I'm pretty sure I'm right, but like I said, I don't think you can really be right or wrong. There's just no way of proving any of it. It's all just guesses.

I'm just guessing that all these nerds are wrong, that's all.

Because despite what I was just saying, I also believe that the film implies that there is a specific plan in place, and that it is being executed exactly as intended or... almost exactly as they intended, and this is mostly due to the fact that R2 goes up to the deck of Jabba's barge, gets in position, and then waits for what is clearly a pre-arranged signal from Luke to launch his lightsaber. This tells me the whole thing really was Luke's plan. Ask yourself, when did Luke and R2 arrange that? Because the only time they could've done so was before R2 even arrived at Jabba's palace. If that is true (and it is), that means R2 had Luke's lightsaber that whole time. So then you should ask yourself why R2 had Luke's lightsaber, and why did he wait until that moment to give it to Luke?

Because there's only one answer: That was the plan.

Besides, Chewie even tells Han that there's a plan. We all forget about that, because immediately after we all learned the phrase "delusions of granduer" for the first time as children, but he definitely says to Han, while hugging him tightly, something along the lines of: "Shh, shh, shh, my beautiful and beloved friend. It's okay. Everything will be okay. Relax. There's a plan. Don't worry. Luke has got it covered. Oh, gosh, I missed you so much. I missed you so much! (sniff) I missed your smell. Oh! I missed this smell! You wouldn't happen to have any treats, would you?" I'm paraphrasing, perhaps, but the fact remains, this is what Chewie says. Either way, the fact that the plan was a little bumbling and also heavily dependant upon coincidences (or perhaps... The Force) is just the reality of how our lovable little rag-tag band of heroes roll (See: Leia's rescue from the Death Star).

So, if there was a plan (there was), then let's talk about what it was, and let's start with Jabba's Palace, on the planet Tatooine.

Despite what the Star Wars franchise otherwise implies, Tatooine is an isolated backwater desert world, way out at the edge of the Outer Rim of the Galaxy. It's a planet that no one goes to if they can help it, because it sucks. It's desert. Nothing but desert. On top of that, the Outer Rim isn't called The Outer Rim because it's a convenient walking distance to Grand Central Station either, it's an isolated place, basically the ass-end of the galaxy, which makes Tatooine its butthole. It's nothing but sand, which everyone hates, because it gets in everything, and no one likes a sandy butthole. So, as a result, Tatooine is a famously lawless place, a well-known home to scum and villany, because again, no one goes there who doesn't have to, and that includes The Law.

Jabba the Hutt, meanwhile, is the gangster who runs crime on Tatooine, which means that he runs Tatooine. But since Tatooine sucks and no one goes there, this actually less than impressive fact tells you that, most likely, at least as far as the rest of the Hutts (a well-known crime family) are concerned, Jabba is a huge fuck-up. But being that he was given a planet, even if it's a shitty one, then he's probably somebody important's overgrown failson. You know this is true, because if he was actually any good at crime, he wouldn't be stuck at the ass-end of nowhere, ruling the Barstow, California of planets. And honestly, if he wasn't a dipshit screw-up, would he have such an over-sized and ostentatious party palace, a place that, in keeping with Tatooine's place in the galaxy, also seems to be out in the middle of nowhere? To be fair, on Tatooine, "in the middle of nowhere" actually just means "anywhere but one of the three or four small towns that dot the planet's surface." But that said, the only place that his palace does seem to be near is The Dune Sea, which is a desert so big it even impresses the people of Tatooine. Either way, two thing's are for certain here... Jabba's palace is isolated, and it's also a fortress. You can tell the latter just by looking at it, especially the sheer size of its front door.

Threepio is what? 5'9"? He's dwarfed by that door. And R2 is 3-ish feet from front foot to back foot, maybe? This means the door to Jabba's palace is at least 20 to 30 feet high and 3-ish feet thick, at least, judging by the size of the holes its teeth fit in when closed, so... that's substantial.

A door of that size implies that the rest of the palace is similarly built, too. Plus, if a place has defensive features like that, one can reasonably assume it might have some similar offensive capabilities too. Turbo lasers? A shield generator? Does one of those domes actually hide an Ion Cannon? You don't know. But we are talking about criminals here, the kind that clearly believe they can act with impunity. Illegal weapons really aren't that huge of a leap.

My point here is, breaching Jabba's palace with force would clearly take some doing. It might even require the kinds of resources that only an organization like the Rebellion or the Empire could provide. A Cruiser, maybe. X-wing support. A strike team or two. Maybe even some armor? But the problem with that is, at this point in the Galactic Civil War, it's a safe to assume the Rebellion wasn't willing to devote that kind of resources, which would require schlepping out to the middle of nowhere, all for a potentially very loud engagement. And just to rescue one pilot? Hero of the Battle of Yavin or not, the potential exposure to Imperial forces alone makes it not worth it. Add to that the very real possibilty that they might even take some losses? Not only could they probably not afford that, resource-wise, but from a PR standpoint? Forget about it. Especially as this is right after they were forced to run, leaving behind who knows how much shit, when the Empire kicked their asses off Hoth. What I'm saying is, the Rebellion isn't exactly on its front foot at the moment. So... sorry, Han, enjoy your Carbonite hibernation, because it's not happening. Besides, even if they were to launch a big assault, they wouldn't want to risk hurting Han in the fight. They don't know where he actually is inside Jabba's palace, or what his condition is, so really, the whole idea is a no-go.

This means that, Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia Organa, Chewbacca the Wookie, Lando Calrissian, C-3PO and R2-D2 are on their own, and the problem there is that they're still faced with the same basic problem... Jabba's palace is a fortress. Bottom line? If they want to get Han Solo out, they first have to get inside Jabba's Palace. But then, there's the problem of how they get out again, and also how they get away, because like I said... the place is in the middle of nowhere.

And so that... is what I think the basic plan is.

They need to get inside Jabba's Palace. Then, they need to convince Jabba himself to get them outside of his palace, at which point, they can then escape, most likely by using one of Jabba's own vehicles.

I know, I know... sounds silly, right? It's definitely a little loosey-goosey, sure, but just wait. I swear it will make sense.

At least, from a certain point of view... my own.

Plus, I think an important ("important") thing to keep in mind here is that this isn't just a rescue, it's also a hit. They need to kill Jabba. These are dedicated rebel operatives trying to overthrow an evil dictatorship, trying to free the galaxy, and Jabba has been getting in the way of that. As we all know, a deathmark is not an easy thing to live with, and by the end of Empire Strikes Back, Jabba's bounty on Han's head had become an untenable thing. Not only had a bounty hunter recently been hiding in a bowl of rice on Ord Mantell looking to put a cap in Han's ass, it had almost gotten them all killed in Cloud City on Bespin. For this plan to work, in order to truly "free" Han, Jabba needs to be put down, hard. This has to happen. Bullet-proof plan or not, Jabba has to be dealt with... permanently.

Plus, y'know... Pride.

The Plan

Lando Calrissian: Inside Man/Wheelman

As a kid, I always wondered how no one in Jabba's palace could see that it was Lando in that mask. Like, as a kid, I thought he was supposed to be wearing an alien mask or something, like an alien's face? Like Hannibal Lector, I guess? For some reason, I assumed as a kid, that he had knocked someone out and had taken their place, instead of just, y'know... getting hired as a guard, and so I was like... you can clearly see his face! He's clearly human! It took me a weirdly long time to realize that it wasn't a mask, it was just a weird hat he had on, and that it wasn't weird for him to be wearing that, because the Star Wars franchise in general is just big time pro-helmet.

This doesn't answer the question of how it is that Boba Fett didn't recognize Lando Calrissian, after working with him at Cloud City, but then, maybe Boba Fett is just a big dumbass. After all, he soon dies in the most embarassing way possible... or, doesn't die, I guess, but either way, it's not impressive.

Anyway, as any heist crew will tell you, getting away can be the hardest part. Always know your exits. And an obvious problem with Jabba's palace is that you can't just walk away from it. This is made clear at the beginning of the film. It's an isolated place. There's lots of open space. This is especially bad news if you think you might have to leave somewhat quickly, probably with someone suffering from hibernation sickness, all while being shot at. The Dune sea is even worse for this. Springing Han, and then getting away, is an issue.

So, you need a ride, and you can't bring one close without it being spotted. Again, lots of open space. So you need to take one that's there. Okay, so... where do they keep the keys? Are they gassed up? Are they well-maintained? And what's the best route out of there? This is shit you need to know, and the staff working in Jabba's palace are not going to let you just walk in and snoop around. No way. You need an inside man, someone who can go and prepare the ground. And who better to go in and figure all that shit out than Lando? A gregarious mother fucker if there's ever been one, Lando's been in there for who knows how long by the start of the movie, probably playing cards, buying drinks, back-slapping, having a good ol' time, and basically becoming one of them, all so that it's not a big deal for him to be driving one of the skiffs later. In fact, it's not only not a big deal, they probably want him to drive, because they love Lando. He's awesome. He tells the best stories! Remember that one time he got that Trandoshan Ale? So fun. Lando's the best.

And it's all so that he can then be in a position to get them all out of there, once they have Han. Which is exacly what he does.

Now, does he intend to fall off the skiff and almost fall into the Sarlacc's mouth at one point? No, but even the best laid plans of mice and Socorroans can experience a bump or two along the way...

C-3PO and R2-D2: The Shill and The Roper

R2's entire job is to sneak in the lightsaber. That's it. Because Luke is going to need it when he needs to fuck Jabba's shit up to cover their escape, and the plan is to get captured, so they can't risk it being taken away. This is also why R2 doesn't toss Luke his lightsaber during the Rancor fight. It wasn't the right time. The plan is, R2 is supposed to go in there, fade into the system, wait for the signal, and otherwise make sure he and C-3PO get out of there. That's it.

And that's what he does.

Meanwhile, I'm pretty sure C3PO has no idea what's going on.

Which is probably for the best, because god love him, C-3PO is just not that guy, right? He means well, and he's down, but he can't be cool. Not ever. Not only that, but he can't keep a secret either. And he definitely can't lie. Now, one important thing to realize about this is, if C-3PO has no idea what's going on, then all of his commentary during the set-up is coming from a place of ignorance. So, when he laments the fact that Lando went into Jabba's palace and disppeared, that could mean that he just has no idea that Lando has been feeding them as much intel as he can, because C-3PO is not in on the plan at all. Just saying. Otherwise, there's two reasons why Luke would send him in there. One, he's fluent in over 6 million forms of communication, and Jabba isn't. And two... he's super annoying.

Just by being there, he's gonna annoy the piss out of you, and generally make things worse. It's his voice mostly. And his prissy attitude. And the way he whines. And the way that he walks like he has a stick up his butt. Yes, it's true, he's mostly there because R2 needs to be there, and you generally can't leave him out of stuff, because he's basically the group's annoying little tagalong brother, and he's just always there. But this time, the fact that he's annoying is a plus. It's exactly why they need him next to Jabba, to just generally make things worse, to just raise the temperature a bit during tense situations, and there's no better way to do that then through his lack of filter and honest translations. Because upset Jabba is a more easily manipulated Jabba, which is what Luke's plan hinges on. And all the while, C-3PO is there, this mildly confused babe-in-the-woods, no idea why any of this is happening. And that would be totally fine, if not for the fact that Jabba tends to kill his translators, so it is kind of a dick move on Luke's part...

But whatever, he'll be fine, probably. R2 will watch out for him.

Chewbacca the Wookie: The Muscle

So, our heroes can count on two things when it comes to Han. One, if he's still frozen in carbonite, then he's alive. Two, when they get him out, he will most likely be suffering from a temporary but debilitating hibernation sickness. We know that they know this because the former is mentioned in Empire, and because Leia is the one who explains the latter to Han. But most importantly, what the last part means is that Han probably won't be able to run very well in the immediate aftermath of his release, let alone be much of a help if there's a fight.

So he needs to be protected.

That's Chewbacca's job. Honestly, it's probably the only job that he's willing to do. And really, who better? That's why they just turned Chewie over to Jabba, because they knew that Jabba would most likely (fingers crossed) put the wookie in a cell to deal with later, and also, once they freed Han from the carbonite, where else would Jabba put Han for safe keeping while deciding what to do with him next? Also in a cell. Where Chewie is waiting.

Plus, as another checkmark in the "there was definitely a plan" column... That Chewie isn't with Lando at the start of Return of the Jedi most likely means that after he and Lando took off in the Millenium Falcon at the end of Empire, they all then met up again later, and that this is the point where they most likely made a plan. Otherwise, Chewie would have been with Lando at the start of Jedi, instead of with Leia.

Princess Leia Organa: The Honey Pot and The Hidden Knife

Leia, of course, is the one that has the most important role in the entire plan, because she's the smartest, the most capable, and the most ruthless. I mean, this is a woman who, while captured on the Death Star, told Grand Moff Tarkin to his face that he smelled. She's got no fear.

Anyway, her job is threefold. Free Han. Insult Jabba. Kill Jabba.

Jabba is a piece of shit. He's a slave-owning criminal and a murderer, a cruel scumbag ruling over a meaningless nothing little kingdom. He obviously knows this too, and it's a sensitive spot. That's why he was so insulted by the "gift" of C-3PO and R2-D2. Luke giving him some beat-up old droids is an insult, especially when Han owes Jabba a lot of money. Jabba clearly takes it as a slight too. Who does Luke think Jabba is, some jawa who will get excited at scrap? Oh, and he can definitely hear the contempt, the insincere flattery, in Luke's message too. Luke's a Jedi, huh, he thinks he's so much better than Jabba, obviously. This is what Luke is counting on. Just like he was counting on Jabba being a greedy, opportunistic thief too, one who will keep the droids anyway, all while gloating about it, who's the dumb guy now, Jedi?

Jabba being vindictive and mean is the reason why he killed his Twi'lek dancer. She showed the whole throne room just how much the very idea of touching Jabba disgusted her, and that embarrassed him, so he fed her to his Rancor. That this is who Jabba is, the fact that Jabba doesn't let any slight go, not in his own home, not in front of his subjects, where he rules, that he won't allow anyone to undermine him, especially when they think they're better than him, this a key part of Luke's plan, this is how they're planning on getting out of there.

Leia was supposed to use this too.

But first, she had to free Han Solo. Because even hobbled by hibernation sickness, he is much easier to move outside of the carbonite than he is within it. So first, she had to free him and get him to Chewie.

That's why she and Han were talking in normal tones of voice when she freed him, despite it being the middle of the night while everyone else is supposedly sleeping. That's why they were walking really slowly across the throne room, still talking like normal, all while a bunch of drunk desert hillbillies were crouched down behind a curtain trying to be quiet and not giggle. But how did Jabba find out about her plan to free Han, you ask? Maybe Lando, the inside man, told him, further cementing his trusted position, which is perhaps how he ended up guarding the prisoners on the skiff on the way out to the Sarlacc.

Either way, this was the plan. Free Han, embarrassing Jabba.

And he was already embarrassed too, because Leia had already tricked him into inviting her into his home, meaning that she made him look stupid, and this was after she made him back down in front of everyone using a Thermal Detonator, meaning that she made him look like a coward. And she did it all just to ruin his trophy too, which was so perfect for lording over everyone as a reminder of what happens when you cross Jabba! She ruined it! Then, also in front of everyone, she threatens Jabba, telling him she has "powerful friends" which means... that they're more powerful than you, you desert Tatooine trash. AND THEN... she leaned away when he pulled her close, visibly disgusted by him. It was too much. Jabba needs to be seen as a big man, and yet, here are these people suddenly, in his house, who have insulted him with a cheap bribe, with a lack of deference, with an obvious low opinion of him by tricking him, stealing from him, and by calling him ugly, so... he decides to humble Leia by chaining her to his side in (big sigh...) the greatest outfit ever. And Luke was counting on that, that he would need to humble Leia. Jabba is obviously a little man, and a misogynist. After all, he keeps scantily-clad slave girls. So they push him a little, insult him, denigrate him, and he does the one thing they can rely on him doing... flex his power, and since Leia is hot, he's probably going to do that by making her be his new scantily-clad slave girl.

And that's great, because that's exactly what they need, they need Leia to be close to Jabba for when the opportunity to strike comes, which is a job she is more than willing to do, because NO ONE messes with Leia Organa's boyfriends.

Luke: The Outside Man

Luke is the distraction. Everyone look at me, the Jedi.

Also, Luke is a local. As we all know, he grew up on Tatooine. Meanwhile, Jabba has been around a while too. You can guess this by his familiarity with Jedi, which are very much a rarity at this point in the galaxy. Also, from the way Han talks about him with Chewbacca and Greedo both in the original film, Jabba seems like a well-entrenched local institution. I mean, I'm guessing here, but I think it's fair to say that Jabba has been in charge of Tatooine for at least as long as Luke's been on Tatooine, probably even longer. Either way, I also think it's fair to say that Luke is pretty familiar with Jabba, at least by reputation. Tatooine may be a planet, but there really is only a handful of "cities" so it's basically just a small town, and I'm sure word gets around. Plus, there probably isn't a lot to do, at least judging by the fact that Luke's main activity while growing up was apparently shooting at small animals from a plane, so gossip about any local big names is also probably a pretty common thing for folks to do around these here parts.

My point is, Luke has probably heard stories about Jabba all his life, maybe he's even seen him and his entourage, all while being warned to stay away from him by his Uncle Owen. Plus, being that Luke is clearly a huge nerd, the kind of kid who whines when he isn't allowed to hang out with his friends, he has definitely never been inside Jabba's palace. This is why they don't try to sneak in. They basically have no idea what it's like in there, except whatever Lando can safely pass on, so especially while they're making the plan, the only thing that Luke can really know for sure is that, all his life he's heard how dangerous Jabba's palace was, how well-armed it was, that it's a fortress...

And that getting everyone out of there safely, that's the whole trick.

I'm also willing to bet Luke heard just as many stories about The Sarlacc while growing up too. I bet kids talk about that thing in whispers. It's dangerous and scary. What with the pit itself, the Krayt Dragons, and the Tuskens too, I bet little kids have nightmares about the Dune Sea, and the local teens probably dare each other to walk to the pit's edge and throw shit into it. I bet parents warn their kids about the Sarlacc the same way kids here are warned about strangers in vans with candy. "Don't you even think about going out to the Dune Sea, you hear me? That Starkiller boy went out there, and he fell into the Sarlacc and that was it. There's no coming out. He's probably still alive down there too, slowly being digested... If I ever hear you've been out there? Ooooo... you're gonna wish that the Sarlacc got your ass. You're gonna wish!" But even more so, I bet there's an aura of enticing danger around the whole thing too, especially if you're a bored small town teen out in the middle of nowhere. Because everyone knows that there's nothing that Jabba loves more than to load up his party barge with a bunch of booze, and drugs, some tunes, and some hot chicks like a big man, all so that he can go out to the pit in the middle of the Dune Sea, with all his buddies and just... paaaar-TAY, while tossing people into the teeth hole. Legendary parties, bro. Legendary. So yeah, Luke knows all about Jabba, and he definitely knows about the Sarlacc Pit too. Most of all, he knows that going out to the Dune Sea to throw people into the Sarlacc Pit is one of Jabba's most favorite things to do.

So that became the plan.

That became their way out, get Jabba to take them out to the Sarlacc Pit. All they need to do is a series of insults to poke, poke, poke at Jabba–which Luke definitely did by creasing Jabba's dome with a blaster bolt IN HIS OWN THRONE ROOM!–and then, even worse, Luke kills Jabba's pure-bred Rancor. Those things can't be cheap to get, or raise. Not to mention the time investment? Come on! Now, was killing the Rancor part of the plan? Probably not. It's possible that they didn't even know it was there, or maybe they did and figured... fuck it, because they otherwise generally just tend to stumble their way to victory like Pee Wee showing off on his bike, but either way, it worked out in the end. In fact, killing the Rancor was the proverbial straw, insult after insult after insult after insult, after Luke kills the rancor, that was it. Jabba was incensed. Livid. Infuriated. "You mother fuckers! God damn it! What the–this has been the worst week! I have had it up to here with you fucking–y'know what? Fuck it! Teeth Hole! Teeth Hole for everyone! Bib, gas up the Party Barge!" At which point, the whole crowd in the throne room was like: "Wooooooo! PAR-TAY!"

All while Luke was there like Hannibal on The A-Team.

And that was it. The fix was in. The heroes set their trap and Jabba walked right into it. Then, once they were out there, after giving Jabba one last chance to walk away, Luke gave R2 the signal. R2 sent the lightsaber, and Luke started wrecking shop. Meanwhile, Leia is killing Jabba while everyone else is busy with Luke, all as Chewie keeps Han safe, R2 is getting C-3PO off the barge, and Lando is ready to drive them all away.

Boom! Problem solved.

So, is this the right answer?

Beats me, but it makes sense to me. And it doesn't seem like all that unlikely of a stretch either, given the characters, the world, and what we see on screen. I'm not saying it isn't silly, of course, and I'm not saying it isn't full of big coincidences, but I don't think that's out of line with the franchise either. Like I said, the Death Star escape was basically the same bumbling seat-of-their-pants planning. Plus, I will also point out that later in this same movie, a bunch of teddy bears wiped out an entire legion of the Empire's best troops, so... silly and coincidence-dependant? Yeah, it's fine. So, yeah, I think this was the plan.

It totally makes sense.